HAPPY NEW YEARS!!

Well it's about 2 minutes till new years and I just wish everyone the best new years ever! This is the perfect opprotunity for a fresh start, new things and a new you. Someone said on one of the blogs I read to leave things that happened in 09 in 09, so I suggest everyone do just that because there is no point in bringing the past into your present or your future, ya dig?

Everyone seems to be posting their new years resolutions, but I don't have resolutions, I have goals (yes there is a difference, you don't force goals, you aspire to reach them)

being nicer to my family- I have a mean streak in me but I think I should try to be more patient with family because weather I like it or not, they are my family and they love me (some of them) like no other and I have to cherish that and not be so willing to stop talking to them

get ready for college- I have only one year left in high school and then it's off to college so I have to start my portfolio so I'll be set cause ain't no way in hell im gonna be a bum at home while everyone else is living the college life

kanye's workout plan- Every time I go to the doctor she says I'm as healthy as a horse and I never understand why when my diet consists of chocolate, cake and cookies galore and I work out maybe every other week, so imma try to "work it out" every other day and watch the transformation, I do wanna look good for my 17th b-day : )

get out more- I love to go out but when the weekend comes and I have the time to go to the club I let my laziness sop me from fun, even though I need the sleep I feel like I should be out there having fun and meeting people...

MONEY, MONEY, MONEY- I have to learn how to save my cash because I know I'm high maintenance and the cheap stuff does not work, I don't wanna have to buy the cute jewelery that I know will turn my neck green or buy clothes I know aren't high in quality because I don't have the cash to buy the good stuff

Um, I think that concludes my goal list for 2010,I'm so excited!!!!

I'll holla at y'all later, stop by and tell ZODIAC how your new years was : )

ALL because tomorrow is NEW YEARS!!

OK, THIS NEW LAYOUT TOOK ME ABOUT 3 GOOD HOURS TO MAKE, SO I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE IT. I would go into what I had to do just to get this template like this but I don't even wanna think about it lol. I just wanna start fresh and new for the new year so I had to make sure the blog was fresh iight? BUT ANYWAY, my morning wasn't so great and it's not because I spent so much time trying to do the impossible with this blog, but because my stepfather made breakfast for everyone in the house except me : (  ~insert "aww"~, it's 1:12 pm as of now and my ass has not even put a morsal of food in my mouth! I guess I better get on that, I'll be back later for sure. peace.

Those bed sheets must be COLD!..cause i ain't wanna see that shit

So I finally went to go see my brother and sister yesterday, which means I had to see THE BOY aka my dad.
Every second I spent in his house was excruciating! He kept asking me questions that he had no business asking. I feel like if he really wanted to know how my life was going he would put in effort to be in it. But any way, I had a wonderful time with my siblings. I love them so much and I can't believe theyre growing so fast, I remember when they were in the womb. : )

But anyway on to the good stuff, so I was talkin to my stepmother but she wan't looking at me and so I was just opening and closing this one drawer in her nightstand, and I turned my head and my eyes got so big! I could not believe what I saw. I was beyond disgusted! It was a purple, see through dildo!! I was so embarassed and scared, so needless to say I stopped playing with the drawer. Now I feel like dildos are more for single women who can't get none or they dont feel like asking no man for no d*ck, but here is this woman that is married to my dad, who can get some at anytime and I know this because I heard them on many occasions, who has a dildo. Even right now as I'm typing this post I don't know what to think. Just the thought makes my mind go blank. Well I haven't been there in a while so maybe the bed sheets got cold, I mean my dad did cheat on her so...I dunno that's their mess and it's up to them if they wanna clean it up. But DAMN! Zodiac ain't wanna see that shit! WHO DOES?!

A moment with Zodiac

Hello everyone, I would just like to take a moment to tell you all how much I appreciate your comments and the fact that you guys took the time to read my blog and get to know me. I love all of my readers (I don't like the word followers) and I love you all. My first blog only had 5 readers but now, I have 65 flavors of the Zodiac checkin in and leaving comments and whatnot. I love making you guys laugh and I love making you guys think and you guys have returned the favor all the time because there were plenty of times you guys' complements made me laugh and made me reach into the deepest abyss of my mind. LOVE YOU GUYS!!

OH AND TO MAKE YOU GUYS LAUGH CHECK OUT THESE VIDEOS OF MARTIN LAURENCE IN HIS FAMOUS ROLE OF "SHANANAE" lol, laugh your pants off

well my x-mas sucked!!!

Gosh, I dont even wanna remember my x-mas. It was the worse. This year my mom felt like we shouldn't celebrate because of the economy and I was cool, but she told me her idea before I knew how I would truley feel. So on christmas morning I was expecting there to be gifts under the tree anyway because I mean, come on, who doesnt want gifts?! But there weren't any gifts and the damn tree looked like a weed plant. How you gonna get your tree on christmas eve? Gosh! (in the napolian dynomite voice). So I go downstairs to see my mom and my two bad ass cousins (I'm pissed that those lil brats are at my house for their whole winter break!) and when I said hello to my mom, I got the nastiest attitude from her! So that kinda pissed me off and I was two seconds from goin in my room and not comin out for the rest of the day, but because I was trying to be nice I stayed downstairs(I WAS ABOUT TO TURN INTO A REAL GRINCH). I offered to cook breakfast and everything, I'm sorry but I can cook better than my mom, and she gonna tell me no! At that point in my mind I was like "alright, don't ask me to do shit for the rest of the day." I don't usually offer to do things so when I do I suggest people ride the wave lol. Then she gonna get mad because she wanted decorations on the "tree". She seriously yelled at my and my auntie because there weren't any decorations on the tree! So we put the damn lights and decorations on the tree. I got plenty of texts and calls from people who were having a "merry" christmas and when they asked what I got I was almost embarrased to say "nothin'", but oh well, it is what it is.

Then my other aunt, the one who starred in my mini story "be mature or smack a ho?!!", came by my house. This bitch had the nerve to curse my mom out the day before, so she was most def on my shit list, but for the sake of my mother and the kids she didn't recive my gift of a slap, cause old girl needs what that dude got in my previous post lol. But she did drop off gifts for my lil cousins so that was nice. I guess the best part of my day was eating the food, of course I had to help my mom with the mac and cheese cause hers come out tasting like just noodles and if I wasn't gonna get gifts there was no way in hell I was gonna eat a unsatisfying dinner, but my dinner was excellent! and I finally got to watch Precious (i know, i know, not a movie to watch on christmas but keep in mind, our day was just another day but we had a big dinner) it was an excellent movie, and I plan on reading the novel. BUT I GUESS CHRISTMAS IS ABOUT FAMILY, SO ALL IN ALL MY CHRISTMAS SUCKED BUT I'M HAPPY MY FAMILY WAS THERE BECAUSE WE DID HAVE SOME LAUGHS : )

but anyway it's cooks b-day today!!! she's 18 now, a grown ass woman, so if you guys could just wish her a happy b-day at http://www.lyricalthoughtz.blogspot.com/ it will be deeply appreciated!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY!!

i would do this to some people if it wasn't CHRISTAMS TIME

HELL, SOME PEOPLE NEED IT

I lied, I'm sorry...

i do happen to have christmas wish list. there's just some things that are just too hot for me not to want it.
(btw theses pic are just used for commentary reasons)

this BETSEY JOHNSON "spotty tote" is too cute, I have a thing for animal print, especially color animal print so I think I need this.

the GLITTERATI PUMP from forever21

the ROGERI TROOPER FASHION BOOTS from forever21 to complete my bad ass look lol

the TALL GLADIATOR BOOTS from forever21. my mom has these but I have to get my own because she's not sharing and her feet are a lil bit bigger than mine : )

and of course some cash so I can hit up victoria's secret and the MAC counter and so I can get some new clothes. There were more shoes that I wanted but this post would have lated forever if I continued with my wish list to satisfy my shoe fetish lol. I LOVE HEELS!!

YOUR alter ego...

I never really introduced my alter ego "ZODIAC" to people outside of my blog family, but I have her name written all over the place, so of course I get a lot of questions. "What does this mean?", "Why did you name her Zodiac?", "Why do you have an alter ego?". I guess I wanna really explain Zodiac as best as I can, but I really believe I am the only one who will understand her completely, but here goes....

I came up with the name Zodiac because I have this interest in the Zodiac. I find it facinating how characteristics of zodiac signs can really fit how a person acts, but anyway, when I realized I had this "other side to me" I really couldnt give her a simple name because she isn't a simple, ordinary person. She's exotic, almost everything I'm not. She is everything you can think of and everything that contradicts it. The zodiac has EVERYTHING in it, so that's when Zodiac was born. Why did I name her Zodiac? Well for one, who ever heard of the name "Zodiac"? It's different, when you hear about someone's alter ego it's usually a ghetto name like Kiki, Candy, Delicious, or something like that ( NOT THAT I KNOCK THOSE NAMES, REMEMBER KYLE FROM "COLLEGE HILL", HIS ALTER EGO NAME WAS KEYSHIA), but I have to have something different, something that would stand out, something that would be the very definition of my alter ego without me having to explain her. Why do I have an alter ego? Well, to be honest the plain MS.B is quiet, sensitive, a nerd at heart , I can be sassy, but Zodiac kicks in when I step outside my door. To be honest I don't trust enough people to wanna let them get to know MS.B, you can't trust people and there are no such things as "friends". But Zodiac and I are one, she is my bitch, she is that bitch, the baddest bitch. Uh huh...but here's my question for you guys "What would you name you alter ego (if you don't already have one), and why did you chose that name? What are the characteristics of your alter ego?" THE COMMENTS WILL BE INTERESTING : )

the new year, the new me

2010 is right around the corner, so my swag will be reinvented. I can't wait to start anew. I don't have any new years resolutions but Ihave goals (I'll post those later). Not to mention my b-day will follow not to far after : ). I love to start new and feel like Ican do things with a clean slate. I can't wait to inhale as soon as that ball drops, it'll be my first breath of the new year and oh, it will be sweet because I've been feeling suffocated, made weary with my own obssesion of working hard and being the best.One of my goals is to learn how to relax and to not over work myself, because tomorrow is not guaranteed and I would feel           really bad knowing that I've lived my life without noticing life's precious treasures because my work consumed me. I learned that when my friend KITTIM passed. I miss him..a lot. (17 years young...didn't see it coming)

I miss you, we'll meet again swetie : )

I REALLY HATE THE "P" WORD!!! > : (

"I LIKE A LONG HAIR, THICK, REDBONE"..ok..."OPEN UP HER LEGS, THE FILET MIGNON"...um,what?..."THAT P*SSY..."...ok, I hate the song "Every Girl" officially.
Why in the hell do people refer to the female reproductive organ as P*SSY??!!! I hate that damn word with a passion, but let me explain why: it makes women sound like a object. It makes one of God's most beautiful and important structures sound like something one can just use and throw away. I have no idea if I'm the only female that feels this way but I really hope I'm not. That word always has a bad meaning and I hear women use it! Do men really have that much influence??!! I'm sick of hearing it in songs, I hate to hear it in movies and iIHATE to hear it in everyday life. I feel like these stupid men need to have more respect for the very thing that gave them life, held them for 9 months!! And women just need to stop using that word all together, I know everyone is going to have their own name for their genitils but "P*SSY" NEEDS TO GO FOR FEMALES ASAP. OK, I'm tired now lol, but this was just somethin iIhad to post ast 12:21 am, I must love you guys. But yes some opinions would be lovely because I need to understand why people use this word for women..."P*SSY"..ew.

the LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT award

Ok, I created this award because I just felt like giving you guys some awards. This award will go to nine blogs that I feel like are so dope I just have to tell y'all it was love at first sight, I mean y'all are the reason I STAY on blogger : )

Alrighty so here are the rules: Just pick five (or more if you like) blogs that you have been in love with ever since you first checked them out then under that blog name just give one reason why you come back for more.

HERE ARE MINE:

WELCOME TO MY QUEENDOM

I love this blog because her words speak to me, she gets deep and she has swag. She mad real all day everyday.

PLANET PRO-TRON

she is too damn funny, and she reps for the lesbian community.

THE FUTURE SOCIETY

when I tell you this blog makes you think (and laugh) I am not lying. btw, you guys should snag some of their shirts.

HOTMESS

we all knew her as PIA but now she goes by KOREA, she is creative and random, much like myself and I appreciate her blog, and she has a lot of buzz so go check it out asap

THE SOCIAL CARNIVORE

this blog is emotional and I dig it *nods head*

NOT ALL BALTIMORE CHICKS ARE STUPID

hilarious and real, she made me laugh to tears and made me shed tears before and I used to watch "The Wire" before they rapped it up and she is nothing like those b-more chicks LOVE HER

...YUP, SIMONE BE TALKIN SHIT

a bad bitch who knows how to keep it real

MY DOWNLOW LIFE

DAMN! when I tell you this lady knows how to paint a pitcure I do mean it, hmmm, if your feelin freaky just give this blog a shot, oh, and she tells me I'm beautiful so she makes me feel special : )

And last but not least by a long shot, this is my number nine

MUSIK&SOUL

This is my friend, my walking diary, and my favorite lesbian in the whole world!!, not to mention my classmate. I love her blog because of the poetry, her words are extraordinary and I feel special that I'm able to read her notebooks in person, I LOVE YOU COOK!!!

 

Glitter Graphics

R.I.P Brittany Murphy

Wow, only 32 years old. My stepdad said everyone is checkin out, I guess he ain't lyin.

She died of a heart attack and I feel so bad. R.I.P mami <3

two throw back joints and a WTF???!! video

LL COOL J- DOIN IT (remember this?....)


JODECI- CRY FOR YOU (love it, I miss them)



this is straight ignorance and,,ya know what, I'll let you guys comment on this one, parents make me sick nowadays, but wow come on! and old boy was right, the baby is cute but why in the hell would this "mother" put a wig on this baby??!

I've come to my conclusion...

As many of you know, if you read my blog, I have a tendency of thinking a lot about everything that life throws at me, so I was in my mothers room (don't ask why) thinking and this is how I looked...

This is me thinking about how funny it is how people are fake and will turn on you at any given moment

This is me wondering why I let people get close to me and really thinking about what I should do

This is me going "hmmmm.."

and this is me smiling because I've reached my conclusion : I can't stand females and I have 5 great friends in my life and I don't need any more. I rather have 5 honest , true, loyal friends than 100 fake ass, phony "friends". LOL I'm surpised im in this situation because I knew this, but you live and learns everyday and sometimes the lesson needs to be taught twice. But on a lighter note, I went to the Knicks game yesterday and it was TOO good, KNICKS WON! But the clippers did their thing, for a second they were ahead, but NY was represtenting!!

my rant in school...

Damn, I'm in school, in the library in my lunch period and I am not happy whatsoever. I swear if another one of these rude shit bump into me imma just blow up the school all together. Oh gosh and if my english teacher gives us one more assignment imma tell her about herself, even though I like her as a teacher. *shurgs*

I was thinkin about christmas because it not too far away at all, and I've decided that I don't want anything. If someone floats some cash my way I'll be happy but I'm good. Honestly the thrill and excitement of this holiday has worn off ever since I figured out that there is no damn santa. I mean come one, I can't go in the closet because why? There's special bags in there? PLEASE...I figured out what it was at the age of 8. I don't need toys, and I have a laptop a ipod and a cell phone. WHAT MORE COULD I WANT?? I just wanna go to the club to be honest, I have some steam to let off.

Well, I'm finish with my ice cream and my chocolate rice crispies treat so I guess I'll end this post at school so I have something to say when I get home. OH SNAP, I JUST REALIZED I TOLD Y'ALL THAT I WANNA START MAKING VIDEOS SO I CAN MAKE YOUS GUYS LAUGH! I SHOULD ASK FOR A NEW DIGITAL CAMERA WITH SOUND! WHAT? GUYS ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS BE PREPARED TO LAUGH AND SOMETIMES CRY AT THE LIFE OF ZODIAC. BUT IMMA MAKE Y'ALL FEEL ME CAUSE SHIT IS REAL.

the NONCHALANT attitude..lalala i DON'T have time to care

*deep sigh*, I just wish that people would realize that I have too much on my plate right now to care about petty issues, nasty stank attitudes, and personal problems. I mean if I care for you I'm more than willing to be there but if your gonna come at me sideways, we're gonna have issues. I just felt like walking up to everyone that decided it was ok to talk to me today and put my g-shock in their face and say "U SEE THIS G-SHOCK?! THERE IS NO TIME ON THE WATCH OF ZODIAC FOR YOU OR YOUR SHIT, SO TAKE YOUR HAPPY ASS TO HELL AND GET THERE SAFE." Kinda mean right? *shrugs* Too bad I don't care, and when I'm having a bad day I don't mess with anyone, but the problems still come to me. But it's all good because I still have my dream of going to college and that and the fact that God chose me to wake up every morning is what keeps me going.

BUT, of course people in other states even like to bother me. So there I was in my second to last class, happy as hell that the day was about to end and here goes this boy I met in MD that caught feelings for this JERSEY CITY PRINCESS, and I consider him my best friend but old boy feels like I should marry him! So we argued through text but then I just told him to "shush..." He texted back but I didn't reply because I was tempted to call him and curse him out, but I decided to let it out a better way, through my poetry. This is what I jotted down while I was supposed to be learning about cations and ions and all that jazz:

I'm disintegrating
Eroding as you walk away
Tears over wasted time
But hurt over guilt
I had no business taking your heart or giving you mine
I waste of time it was, thinking we were in love
when we was
what we was
but what were we?
Victims of the lure of the forbidden fruit
That's what it was
Are you dissolving like me?
Can your knees hold you up
or did I make you weak like you did me?

By this, ok before I tell ya'll what this means lemme break it down, he had a girl before he met me but told me months after I started to like him and trust him. But I kinda disregarded their relationship because I felt like if he checkin for me and he's with her he must not be into it, but that's not right, even though I don't know the girl from Adam. So now I feel guilt even though the situation makes it spilled milk, but I told him we can't be on the phone all hours of the night  subliminally flirting because we both have someone at home, and yesterday Allen (my man at home) made me very happy. I got my hair done and he kept playing in it and he was surprised my hair almost touches my bra strap because I wear weave. So then he walked me home and we held hands and we spoke and laughed and he asked me what I wanted for Christmas (insert AWWWW!). Now that I've blogged I feel alot better. Peace out ya'll, till tomorrow : )

my weekend, and how Tiger Woods fucked it up

Friday: Went to my friend April's house to chill, I had to get out of the house and it was the first time I chilled with someone here in my punk ass town. (I HATE it here!!) but she not from here so it's kinda different, AND did I mention she's my boyfriend's sister?  But anyway there were two dudes there, my niggas Alvaro and Kevin. I was scared because as soon as I walked in Alvaro gave my the eye, and in my mind I was thinkin " I hope he know that we just friends and that I'm not no ho!". Alvaro don't know what it's like to be around Black girls so I will get the neck and eye rollin on him with the quickness and not think twice. But anyway they were actin wild and I just went into my own lil corner so I could laugh at them, but then here comes Alvaro tryin to kiss me. I told him I got a man but obviously he didn't care, so I pulled away. Then he got mad and was like "Why you playin hard to get??" I wanted to yell at him and all of that but he was sexually frustrated and I wasnt beat and  I was just like "I'm not playin hard to get." So about an hour later he and Kevin left to go to the club, and he left mad. This is how I feel, when Alvaro and I first met I did think he was cute and I saw alot of potential in him, so as I got to know him better I began to have deep conversations with him about him and life and I guess he was attraced to the way I made him think because not too long after he began to change. He want my nigga anymore, he was a dude that was tryin to get with me. But I don't wait because I don't have patience, and if he felt someting before I got with Allen then he should have stepped to me like a man and said something upfront instead of tryin to get in my pants and then hoping that we would grow from there. That don't work for me and Alvaro has alot to learn and I'm not about to be his mama. But other than that my Friday was good.

Saturday: I woke up and decided I wanted a bikini wax! (go ahead and laugh) I wanna start doing it at home cause I'm tired of shaving cause it doesn't  last long enough and you look "prettier" down there if you wax as opposed to shaving cause you don't get bumps or discoloration. So me, April and Ashley went to rite-aid to get the wax. Of course we were actin crazy and extra Black but we had a good time and was laughin the whole way there until I looked to my right and saw the newspaper stand with a picture of Tiger Woods crying. I don't know the whole story, I just know that he was in a car crash and all of a sudden there's rumors about a sex tape and a love child and him cheating. (If someone can enlighten me that would be great) I mean, people love to talk about shit they don't know about and I felt really bad for him, and thats how he fucked up my mood cause that picture just brought down the while mood lol, but I pray for him beacause the headline said he was suicidal, and if that's the case I hope he gets better.

Sunday: Well my man finally came home from Deleware and we spoke. I still like him but it was weird when we spoke. No longer do I feel intense butterfllies, I felt numb. And not that good numb, I mean numb like I felt absolutley NADA when we spoke. But it's all good though, when he comes to my house tomorrow I should get some circulation for him in my heart again. But Sunday has been very relaxing and easy, my mom brought me lunch and I got some much needed sleep. I've been thinkin about gettin a new camera so i can record some videos and out them on here, wouldn't that be great cause I need ya'll to hear my voice when I say certain things lol. I plan to have ya'll crackin up.

nah..just a threat..

I think being a ho is wrong. I think stealing somebody's man is wrong, but I don't know how to feel if you are just sitting there and your looking pretty to a man that has a girl. I don't know what to think when you know you make another woman feel insecure. The immature and ignorant side of Zodiac would say that it's on her. You can't help it if her other thinks you're attractive, and you can't help it if a man that knows he has a woman looks at you with lust or interest. On the other hand, it's a horrible feeling to know that your other has an eye for another woman, but what if you are that woman? Are you in the wrong? And I don't mean you gave that man the eye or even payed him any attention, I mean you're just there minding your own business looking cute.
I'm the threat to someone and I don't like how it feels cause she tried to make it seem like I did something wrong. She got mad that her man called me cute, but I wasnt even paying him any mind. I was too busy txting my man. That night she told him, "I don't wanna lose you. I know she's prettier than me but please don't leave me." He told her to shut the hell up and I thought that was funny but I felt really bad, but then I had to think if I should feel bad. I wasnt even attracted to her man but even if I was she's my friend and I wouldnt do that to her. But I really felt bad that I was the person to make her feel insecure. Hmmm, but I didn't do anything wrong and if she's insecure about her looks then that's her internal struggle and I have nothing to do with that and she can't blame me for her personal physical issues. No one can blame others for that in a situation like that. I hate the saying, "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful." because it sounds stupid, but I will say this "Don't blame others for your insecurities."

A LOVE LETTER...or whatever you wanna call it (a freestyle poem)

Before I start this I would just like to say that I feel like I been slippin with my poetry because I've been too into my music (I'm a r&b artist), and I really feel like this right now...enjoy.


you contribute to the saga in my life
but I don't mind
I don't care
you contribute, but you're not there
it's like I'm connected to you
like we share one heart beat
but you bruise my heart every chance you get
you hear my cries like it's your favorite song
but I don't mind
I don't care
you're here, but invisible like air
I don't want to find you on my think
so I go to sleep
but your even in my world with the unconscious me
shit must be deep
you found your way into my soul
you found a way to make me care
you found a way to make me surrender me to you
I should mind
I should care
but I don't
I should snatch myself away from you
but I won't
at the end of the day I am your life line
I am the blood in your veins
I'm that angel on your shoulder telling you I'm here
massaging your ego and tending to your every need
the greed
but I don't mind
I don't care
I hope karma comes back to me, and one day you'll be there

(I do copywrite my shit so please don't try anything slick)

I DON'T WANNA BE A BARBIE...(no offense nicki)

Iight, everybody wanna be a doll or a barbie. Hmmm, I got mad love for ms.Nicki Minaj HOWEVER, I have no desire to be a Barbie. Why may you ask, lemme tell you:

• B.A.R.B.I.E.S mean "bitch ass rabid bitches imitating everybody's swag" to me
• Why the hell would I wanna be fake beauty?
• Why would I wanna fit into the idea of what beauty is?
• I might have to dye my hair pink,blue, or some crazy color like that
• I stopped playing with Barbies a LONG time ago
• I have my own swag
• I'm on my grown woman status, so being a "Barbie" does not satisfy my swag

A Barbie is a piece of plastic that has air brushed make-up on it to make it pretty. I want to be beautiful because I'm me. Not because I dye my hair pink and because I slap on alot of make up and wear bright colors all the time. And besides Lil Kim started this Barbie ish, and that has been played out for a long time now. Now Nicki is a bad bitch to me (well before lil wayne watered her down), but I could care less about her "Barbie movement". And I love me some Lil Kim, but she was beautiful before she injected her lips and cut off her nose and changed her hair blond. That shit is fake and I will never understand why she couldn't appreciate her real beauty. I mean sprucing up your looks is one thing, but they are doing complete 360's to feel pretty. Neither one of their body's is real, yeah didn't know that did you? Nicki ain't all that curvy and we all know Lil Kim's boobs float lol. God gave us what he gave us for a reason, and i feel like we should look in the mirror everyday and love what we see. F*uck what we see on t.v. or what other have to say. JUST BE YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE YOUR OWN BLUEPRINT, THERE IS NO REPLICA, unless you have a twin.

NOW THIS MAY COME AS A SURPRISE, BUT MISS PIGGY IS THE BADDEST BITCH. THE REAL H.B.I.C, and she ain't even a real human but she never claimed to be a a Barbie.

my glue, my track, and my weave is down my back!

Ok, so I live in a town full of Hispanics. Most of them have that beautiful, healthy, shiny, long silky smooth spanish hair and I love it, but what I don't love is when they get a little bit too curious about weave! I mean damn, they act like it's some type of science to weave. Like one girl asked me about using "human hair" for your style, and I broke it down to her that if you use human hair you can wet it and use heat on it. Then the bitch asked me if you can dye it, since it's human hair. I gave her a blank look then said, "uh, no. if you want different color hair you buy different color weave." But she really pushed the fact that since it's human hair that you should be able to do whatever you want to it. It was kind of funny.
 Oh my gosh and once I was told from one girl that she heard that you have to cut your hair to get a sew-in. I was gonna say "how the hell are you gonna sew the weave in if you have nothing to sew it into?" But since she was uneducated about the wonders of weave I just laughed and said, "no, you don't cut your hair, you just braid it up."
 Now , I'm not ignorant so I won't fault them for something they don't know, but what I do mind is that they insinuate that you are bald if you wear weave. I rock half wigs and I love them, but I am no where near bald. If you take a look at my picture on your right (the black and white one at the top), you will see that I'm not bullshittin you. Doing your real hair every morning is time cosuming and I do not have time. And what people don't nderstand about Black hair is that it can't be all out and about all the time. Draw-strings, half wigs, buns, braids and sew in's are protective styles and are best for Black hair. People can call a woman fake all they want to but at the end of the day weave is cute, except when you leave it in too long and it starts to look like you tried to put a brillo pad into a ponytail. I mean I do my natural thing, but it's because I have "good" hair, but not every woman wants to do that, so if you wear weave, more power to ya! If your against weave, all I have to say is that it's a personal choice. (IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS ABOUT WEAVE OR NATURAL BLACK HAIR YOU CAN JUST HIT ME UP ON MY AIM: miiszodiac, OR MY E-MAIL:jerseycityprincess@yahoo.com)

for once i'm scared to cry...one of my "waiting to exhale" moments, advice please

I would like to start of my saying that my weekend since friday has been shitty. More shitty than a damn toilet. So on Friday I went to my grandpa's funeral. It was the first time I saw a actual dead body because it was open casket, but he was handsome. They put him in a white tux and his flowers were beautiful, I hope he was happy with his homegoing. This was the second time I saw a mother bury her child, and it caused me great pain to see my great grandmother cry and on top of that she just buried her other son a month ago. This is why I don't go to Jersey City (my home town), bad memories and experiences. That's just Friday.

So on Saturday I was wondering where was my boyfriend, he didn't call me all that week and I was beyond pissed cause here I am hurting and crying and I expect him to be there for me cause I'm there for him but, no. So that very same day I found out his stupid ass was in jail. Then all of a sudden he texted me and was like "anything you have of mine, I want it back". So then I asked him what's wrong, and at first he didn't wanna tell me but then after beating it out of him he said I was kissing another dude. Definitley didn't. But at this point im ready to let go because he was willing to believe someone else over me and that hurt and had me pissed  but at the end I told him to recollect himself and I'll collect myself and I will see him tomorrow so we can talk about it and try to work it out with relaxed minds. I don't believe in talking things out when in the state of being pissed. At the same time that let me know he cares because any other dude would have left without  notice and did him after hearing something like that about his girl.

Today it's Sunday, and me being the good woman I am, I go to this negro's house to spend some time with him and talk it out, but he wasn't there. All I have to say about that is if he isn't willing to put any effort in it and he won't meet me half way then I'll just go and do me because I'm a good catch and I'm young and like the new boyz said " she (he) ain't gonna tie me down!" but I do have some feelings for him, but if I have to let go I will. But what really pissed me off was the fact that I told him that I just buried my grandpa and he still came at me with that petty bullshit! I dunno guys...I just don't know. Imma go watch some t.v. now, but please, I need some advice. SHOULD I HAVE CHEATED LIKE KEYSHIA COLE SAID? I wanted to cry, but Briani is too strong to let that happen, I won't give him that much energy.

the weave, acrylic nails, the make up, the lies

I listened to "j.cole-losing my balance" and it really spoke to me. As women is all the make up and weave and nails lies or are they the things that makes us, us? Before I listened to this song I thought my nails and my weave and the little bit of make up I do wear (lip gloss and mascara) was my style but to men, are they lies? Are they the things that contribute to the masks we wear everyday or are they just us? And if you think the make up you wear and your weave and the nails or what have you is just what makes you you as a woman, why do those things make you feel better about your apperance? I really had to think about this shit. DID WE LOSE OUR BALANCE?

In the last verse of the song he speakes about a woman that has this bad body and she basically fine as hell to him, but it's her mind that "made him lose his balance". Rather than go to the club and pop champagne, she would choose to rent a movie and get close (not in a too much on a first date kind of way), and she had old boy sprung, to the point where is friends felt neglected, and ladies ya'll know when a man neglects his boys for you that means you got him whipped. Now my question is why can't more women feed men their minds? Men have a natural need to be satisfied sexually (I learned this in my psych class), but I also learned that it is a woman that will make a man learn to appreciate a converstaion. Men love to think and they will respect a woman that will make him think a different way, but at the same time if she's not the visual he needs then most likely he won't give her the time of day. Men always say that women don't know we want but do they know what they want? I've come across men who complain about weave and make up and all of the other things they consider "fake", but if she took off that weave and was walking around with brillo pad hair, would he stick with her then ,even though she has this beautiful mind that he supposedly fell in love with in the first place? DID THINKING ABOUT THAT MAKE YOU LOSE YOUR BALANCE?


 THIS IS THE SONG BY J.COLE, YOU SHOULD LISTEN FOR A MINUTE (IM SERIOUS)

love waiting for you

Have you ever wondered who the person your going to marry will be? (if your not already married). I wonder how my life is going to play out all the time but what really makes me think is who am I going to spend my life with? Do you think about how you might meet said perosn, how they're going to look, what attracted you to them, what made you fall in love. I truly believe there is someone out there for everyone because there's so much out there, but I think it's important not to force it cause true love just happens. But things like this is deep to me because love is sacred and I think that God created a person especially for all of us, and that is something special. I just hope we all find love, nowadays we need it.