I DON'T WANNA BE A BARBIE...(no offense nicki)

Iight, everybody wanna be a doll or a barbie. Hmmm, I got mad love for ms.Nicki Minaj HOWEVER, I have no desire to be a Barbie. Why may you ask, lemme tell you:

• B.A.R.B.I.E.S mean "bitch ass rabid bitches imitating everybody's swag" to me
• Why the hell would I wanna be fake beauty?
• Why would I wanna fit into the idea of what beauty is?
• I might have to dye my hair pink,blue, or some crazy color like that
• I stopped playing with Barbies a LONG time ago
• I have my own swag
• I'm on my grown woman status, so being a "Barbie" does not satisfy my swag

A Barbie is a piece of plastic that has air brushed make-up on it to make it pretty. I want to be beautiful because I'm me. Not because I dye my hair pink and because I slap on alot of make up and wear bright colors all the time. And besides Lil Kim started this Barbie ish, and that has been played out for a long time now. Now Nicki is a bad bitch to me (well before lil wayne watered her down), but I could care less about her "Barbie movement". And I love me some Lil Kim, but she was beautiful before she injected her lips and cut off her nose and changed her hair blond. That shit is fake and I will never understand why she couldn't appreciate her real beauty. I mean sprucing up your looks is one thing, but they are doing complete 360's to feel pretty. Neither one of their body's is real, yeah didn't know that did you? Nicki ain't all that curvy and we all know Lil Kim's boobs float lol. God gave us what he gave us for a reason, and i feel like we should look in the mirror everyday and love what we see. F*uck what we see on t.v. or what other have to say. JUST BE YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE YOUR OWN BLUEPRINT, THERE IS NO REPLICA, unless you have a twin.

NOW THIS MAY COME AS A SURPRISE, BUT MISS PIGGY IS THE BADDEST BITCH. THE REAL H.B.I.C, and she ain't even a real human but she never claimed to be a a Barbie.

my glue, my track, and my weave is down my back!

Ok, so I live in a town full of Hispanics. Most of them have that beautiful, healthy, shiny, long silky smooth spanish hair and I love it, but what I don't love is when they get a little bit too curious about weave! I mean damn, they act like it's some type of science to weave. Like one girl asked me about using "human hair" for your style, and I broke it down to her that if you use human hair you can wet it and use heat on it. Then the bitch asked me if you can dye it, since it's human hair. I gave her a blank look then said, "uh, no. if you want different color hair you buy different color weave." But she really pushed the fact that since it's human hair that you should be able to do whatever you want to it. It was kind of funny.
 Oh my gosh and once I was told from one girl that she heard that you have to cut your hair to get a sew-in. I was gonna say "how the hell are you gonna sew the weave in if you have nothing to sew it into?" But since she was uneducated about the wonders of weave I just laughed and said, "no, you don't cut your hair, you just braid it up."
 Now , I'm not ignorant so I won't fault them for something they don't know, but what I do mind is that they insinuate that you are bald if you wear weave. I rock half wigs and I love them, but I am no where near bald. If you take a look at my picture on your right (the black and white one at the top), you will see that I'm not bullshittin you. Doing your real hair every morning is time cosuming and I do not have time. And what people don't nderstand about Black hair is that it can't be all out and about all the time. Draw-strings, half wigs, buns, braids and sew in's are protective styles and are best for Black hair. People can call a woman fake all they want to but at the end of the day weave is cute, except when you leave it in too long and it starts to look like you tried to put a brillo pad into a ponytail. I mean I do my natural thing, but it's because I have "good" hair, but not every woman wants to do that, so if you wear weave, more power to ya! If your against weave, all I have to say is that it's a personal choice. (IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS ABOUT WEAVE OR NATURAL BLACK HAIR YOU CAN JUST HIT ME UP ON MY AIM: miiszodiac, OR MY E-MAIL:jerseycityprincess@yahoo.com)

for once i'm scared to cry...one of my "waiting to exhale" moments, advice please

I would like to start of my saying that my weekend since friday has been shitty. More shitty than a damn toilet. So on Friday I went to my grandpa's funeral. It was the first time I saw a actual dead body because it was open casket, but he was handsome. They put him in a white tux and his flowers were beautiful, I hope he was happy with his homegoing. This was the second time I saw a mother bury her child, and it caused me great pain to see my great grandmother cry and on top of that she just buried her other son a month ago. This is why I don't go to Jersey City (my home town), bad memories and experiences. That's just Friday.

So on Saturday I was wondering where was my boyfriend, he didn't call me all that week and I was beyond pissed cause here I am hurting and crying and I expect him to be there for me cause I'm there for him but, no. So that very same day I found out his stupid ass was in jail. Then all of a sudden he texted me and was like "anything you have of mine, I want it back". So then I asked him what's wrong, and at first he didn't wanna tell me but then after beating it out of him he said I was kissing another dude. Definitley didn't. But at this point im ready to let go because he was willing to believe someone else over me and that hurt and had me pissed  but at the end I told him to recollect himself and I'll collect myself and I will see him tomorrow so we can talk about it and try to work it out with relaxed minds. I don't believe in talking things out when in the state of being pissed. At the same time that let me know he cares because any other dude would have left without  notice and did him after hearing something like that about his girl.

Today it's Sunday, and me being the good woman I am, I go to this negro's house to spend some time with him and talk it out, but he wasn't there. All I have to say about that is if he isn't willing to put any effort in it and he won't meet me half way then I'll just go and do me because I'm a good catch and I'm young and like the new boyz said " she (he) ain't gonna tie me down!" but I do have some feelings for him, but if I have to let go I will. But what really pissed me off was the fact that I told him that I just buried my grandpa and he still came at me with that petty bullshit! I dunno guys...I just don't know. Imma go watch some t.v. now, but please, I need some advice. SHOULD I HAVE CHEATED LIKE KEYSHIA COLE SAID? I wanted to cry, but Briani is too strong to let that happen, I won't give him that much energy.

the weave, acrylic nails, the make up, the lies

I listened to "j.cole-losing my balance" and it really spoke to me. As women is all the make up and weave and nails lies or are they the things that makes us, us? Before I listened to this song I thought my nails and my weave and the little bit of make up I do wear (lip gloss and mascara) was my style but to men, are they lies? Are they the things that contribute to the masks we wear everyday or are they just us? And if you think the make up you wear and your weave and the nails or what have you is just what makes you you as a woman, why do those things make you feel better about your apperance? I really had to think about this shit. DID WE LOSE OUR BALANCE?

In the last verse of the song he speakes about a woman that has this bad body and she basically fine as hell to him, but it's her mind that "made him lose his balance". Rather than go to the club and pop champagne, she would choose to rent a movie and get close (not in a too much on a first date kind of way), and she had old boy sprung, to the point where is friends felt neglected, and ladies ya'll know when a man neglects his boys for you that means you got him whipped. Now my question is why can't more women feed men their minds? Men have a natural need to be satisfied sexually (I learned this in my psych class), but I also learned that it is a woman that will make a man learn to appreciate a converstaion. Men love to think and they will respect a woman that will make him think a different way, but at the same time if she's not the visual he needs then most likely he won't give her the time of day. Men always say that women don't know we want but do they know what they want? I've come across men who complain about weave and make up and all of the other things they consider "fake", but if she took off that weave and was walking around with brillo pad hair, would he stick with her then ,even though she has this beautiful mind that he supposedly fell in love with in the first place? DID THINKING ABOUT THAT MAKE YOU LOSE YOUR BALANCE?


 THIS IS THE SONG BY J.COLE, YOU SHOULD LISTEN FOR A MINUTE (IM SERIOUS)

love waiting for you

Have you ever wondered who the person your going to marry will be? (if your not already married). I wonder how my life is going to play out all the time but what really makes me think is who am I going to spend my life with? Do you think about how you might meet said perosn, how they're going to look, what attracted you to them, what made you fall in love. I truly believe there is someone out there for everyone because there's so much out there, but I think it's important not to force it cause true love just happens. But things like this is deep to me because love is sacred and I think that God created a person especially for all of us, and that is something special. I just hope we all find love, nowadays we need it.

have a wonderful holiday!

Everyone, I hope ya'll have a blessed and safe holiday and eat until you burst cause I know I will lol.
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

just thought you should know..

it's not easy holding back tears...I miss you.

COLLEGE HERE I COME!

OMG!! I MADE HONOR ROLL. For a minute I was telling you guys how hard junior year is cause it has been kickin my ass, and for a minute I thought I was failing some classes but a smart bitch like me made honor roll in the first semester. YAY ME! That means three things...I have to stay focused and do better, when I ask my parents for something they can't say no and that I'm starting my junior year correct so college better get ready for a sexy, smart and sassy force to walk through those doors. HOLLA! I HAVE DREAMS GUYS AND ONE OF THOSE DREAMS IS TO HAVE A BENTLEY AND A LOFT IN SoHo, and for that dream to come true i need to be making serious cake, and the only way to do that is through an education, right or wrong?

ISN'T IT BEAUTIFUL?

ok...(the word that turned the tables)

I dont know what the hell is up with my mom and her stank attitude but at one point she was two seconds from my foot in her ass. As fed up as I was with her nagging and ranting about things that had nothing to do with me, I refused to give her my energy, so when she was like, "..and you need to do what i tell you to!", all I said was a simple "ok". It was emotionless and it pissed her off. Mission accomplished.

letter to my past...

I can finally forgive you for the pain..I can honestly say I miss you. If you think I feel any resentment, your wrong. Life is too short for me to deny my love for you, I'm not in love with you though. I thought of you yesterday and I actually smiled. you still have that effect on me, even though your not what I need. I have to protect myself, that's why we're not together. Honestly, are you ready for a woman like me? I know your not but I still linger in the back of your mind, but I can say the same about you. We will always be friends and if you ever need to feel unconditional love you know where to come. 6 years and counting...can you believe it?



love forever, zodiac