12.06.2009

for once i'm scared to cry...one of my "waiting to exhale" moments, advice please

I would like to start of my saying that my weekend since friday has been shitty. More shitty than a damn toilet. So on Friday I went to my grandpa's funeral. It was the first time I saw a actual dead body because it was open casket, but he was handsome. They put him in a white tux and his flowers were beautiful, I hope he was happy with his homegoing. This was the second time I saw a mother bury her child, and it caused me great pain to see my great grandmother cry and on top of that she just buried her other son a month ago. This is why I don't go to Jersey City (my home town), bad memories and experiences. That's just Friday.

So on Saturday I was wondering where was my boyfriend, he didn't call me all that week and I was beyond pissed cause here I am hurting and crying and I expect him to be there for me cause I'm there for him but, no. So that very same day I found out his stupid ass was in jail. Then all of a sudden he texted me and was like "anything you have of mine, I want it back". So then I asked him what's wrong, and at first he didn't wanna tell me but then after beating it out of him he said I was kissing another dude. Definitley didn't. But at this point im ready to let go because he was willing to believe someone else over me and that hurt and had me pissed  but at the end I told him to recollect himself and I'll collect myself and I will see him tomorrow so we can talk about it and try to work it out with relaxed minds. I don't believe in talking things out when in the state of being pissed. At the same time that let me know he cares because any other dude would have left without  notice and did him after hearing something like that about his girl.

Today it's Sunday, and me being the good woman I am, I go to this negro's house to spend some time with him and talk it out, but he wasn't there. All I have to say about that is if he isn't willing to put any effort in it and he won't meet me half way then I'll just go and do me because I'm a good catch and I'm young and like the new boyz said " she (he) ain't gonna tie me down!" but I do have some feelings for him, but if I have to let go I will. But what really pissed me off was the fact that I told him that I just buried my grandpa and he still came at me with that petty bullshit! I dunno guys...I just don't know. Imma go watch some t.v. now, but please, I need some advice. SHOULD I HAVE CHEATED LIKE KEYSHIA COLE SAID? I wanted to cry, but Briani is too strong to let that happen, I won't give him that much energy.

3 acknowledgements:

The Virgin Queen: YonAndrogynous said...

Your head is together. He is willing to believe someone over you. He bluffed you out on doing a mature thing like talking face-to-face so take this time to chill off of shordy. He'll give you a headache no bullshit.
Sorry to hear about your grandfather, this world is petty so he got out while it's less caotic.My condolences are you with.
Just use this time to relax. Don't stress. :)

**WhoB3tter** said...

Ahhh. Zodiac No PUN, No PUN. My eyes are low too. I love low eyes. They're the cutest on female anyway.

Cook.ThePoet. said...

Soooo you couldnt have told me this in class when I asked??

-Cook.ThePoet.