12.15.2009

the NONCHALANT attitude..lalala i DON'T have time to care



*deep sigh*, I just wish that people would realize that I have too much on my plate right now to care about petty issues, nasty stank attitudes, and personal problems. I mean if I care for you I'm more than willing to be there but if your gonna come at me sideways, we're gonna have issues. I just felt like walking up to everyone that decided it was ok to talk to me today and put my g-shock in their face and say "U SEE THIS G-SHOCK?! THERE IS NO TIME ON THE WATCH OF ZODIAC FOR YOU OR YOUR SHIT, SO TAKE YOUR HAPPY ASS TO HELL AND GET THERE SAFE." Kinda mean right? *shrugs* Too bad I don't care, and when I'm having a bad day I don't mess with anyone, but the problems still come to me. But it's all good because I still have my dream of going to college and that and the fact that God chose me to wake up every morning is what keeps me going.

BUT, of course people in other states even like to bother me. So there I was in my second to last class, happy as hell that the day was about to end and here goes this boy I met in MD that caught feelings for this JERSEY CITY PRINCESS, and I consider him my best friend but old boy feels like I should marry him! So we argued through text but then I just told him to "shush..." He texted back but I didn't reply because I was tempted to call him and curse him out, but I decided to let it out a better way, through my poetry. This is what I jotted down while I was supposed to be learning about cations and ions and all that jazz:

I'm disintegrating
Eroding as you walk away
Tears over wasted time
But hurt over guilt
I had no business taking your heart or giving you mine
I waste of time it was, thinking we were in love
when we was
what we was
but what were we?
Victims of the lure of the forbidden fruit
That's what it was
Are you dissolving like me?
Can your knees hold you up
or did I make you weak like you did me?

By this, ok before I tell ya'll what this means lemme break it down, he had a girl before he met me but told me months after I started to like him and trust him. But I kinda disregarded their relationship because I felt like if he checkin for me and he's with her he must not be into it, but that's not right, even though I don't know the girl from Adam. So now I feel guilt even though the situation makes it spilled milk, but I told him we can't be on the phone all hours of the night  subliminally flirting because we both have someone at home, and yesterday Allen (my man at home) made me very happy. I got my hair done and he kept playing in it and he was surprised my hair almost touches my bra strap because I wear weave. So then he walked me home and we held hands and we spoke and laughed and he asked me what I wanted for Christmas (insert AWWWW!). Now that I've blogged I feel alot better. Peace out ya'll, till tomorrow : )

4 acknowledgements:

Cook.ThePoet. said...

eeeeeven doe u dnt think i dnt read ya damn blog cuz i dont comment i do soo

An award is waiting for you on my page. Go claim it =]

-Cook.ThePoet.

The Virgin Queen: YonAndrogynous said...

Glad to see things with the beau are looking on the up and up

pennanddpaper said...

lol this was too funny' especially what you said about them going to hell.

madd props for having a G-Shock. good to know someone else has that shit round they wrist like me. (:

i hope whatever between you and ole boy gets better too.

madd love .

JStar said...

I have been in this situation...Why do they tell you after you already put ur feelings into it?? Mine didnt work out either...These MD guys here are no good, I tell ya from experience...Mmnn Maybe some good ones here, but I aint found him yet...My baby is a Jersey Man :)