im baaack!!

well i tried tumblr, i like it and all but it's just like a twitter so i think i might come back to blogger, it's been a while but i know you guys just have to miss me (yeah, i know you guys do). i have some new stories and what not so just stay tuned : )

ok, ok damn!

i don't like disappointing you guys and it bothers me that my blog doesn't work for some of you

so guess what?

im gonna move it!

yay!

its gonna be the same ol' me, same zodiac, same crazy stories and random thoughts but the blog name is gonna be new so look out for that in the near future

love ya!

zodiac, my guilty pleasures, updates and opinions...

hey guys, been gone for a while. MY BAD! i just been really busy with school and being on lock down. yea you guessed it right, my mom still got me on that six month shit. i swear she gets on my nerves! i cant even call my friends to let them know im alive, cant wait till i turn 18, then im outta that house i promise you that. any way, as you guys know if you follow musik&soul, that we have a production company going on and i am apart of it and we've been kinda busy with that as well. (LOOK OUT FOR ROYALE SOCIETY SOON)


UM, I JUST HAVE ONE QUESTION FOR YOU GUYS...for those who watch the highly addictive BAD GIRLS CLUB, is it gay for two girls to kiss? there was a time when that shit was looked at as gay (not that i have anything against gay people) and no one did that. nowadays girls are kissing girls as if that shit is a innocent peck..hmmm..zodiac thinks otherwise.

oh, and here's my theme song (for now), trina went in and for the first time  she looked sexy to me...


this is how im feelin right about now..

oh and me and that boy i was messin with broke up. and i just want to say...IM SO FRIGGIN HAPPY!!!!!!

ugh. not even

ten days till the B-DAY

UNFORTUATLY I FEEL LIKE THIS

 i guess people were right when they say " the excitment wears off."

but the good thing is i saw my crush today!! yes it's the same mr.nigel i been havin a crush on since last year!

ugh, he's like tyson beckford with some morris chestnut and pooch hall and willie from day 26 all rolled into one. yes, it's that serious : )

which brings me to my next point, i need to "break up" with my "boyfriend"

he's becoming a real pain in the ass. he wants to be all up on me and kiss and talk and it's just at the point where i wanna tell him off but at the same time i don't wanna hurt him. but he makes me wanna slap him when he expects me to look good at all times but he be all scruffy and once he even smelled like fish, that's when i knew it had to be over. may sound shallow but whatever, my eyes and nose has needs and if he can't satisfy them but he expects me to satisfy his, it won't work anyway.

gosh..that wasn't nice

so there's this guy named james who likes me. i guess he's a nice kid but, yeah, not really my type. he's a geeky black dude who doesn't know himself. and i don't mean he's geeky in the way that he's mad smart, i mean he talks like he hasn't hit puberty, he tucks in ALL of his shirts and he has zits that should have their own name. and i just hate the way he says my name. ugh, it makes me wanna punch him. so it's february and he came up to me and was like "what are you doin MAY 22?" i gave him a blank look. who the hell knows exactly what they're doing about 3 months away unless you're going on vacation? tell me, WHO?!!! so after i recovered from some internal mean thoughts and questions, i smiled sweetly and said "um, i dunno. why?" and he said it's the day of the junior prom and that he wanted to take me. (insert awww if you wanna, i wouldn't, because things just get worse) i laughed hysterically because i just didn't understand why he would ask so damn soon. first of all the junior prom didn't even cross my mind cause i hate this school and i don't wanna go. second of all i feel like old boy is on some OD shit because, like,  IT'S THREE MONTHS AWAY! i just told him i would seriously consider it, which i don't plan on doing. but he was bold though because he asked for all of my information ie. email, myspace, phone number. i aint give him shit because thats a potential stalker, its bad enough he stares at me all through class.

because i was so tickled by him, i told my sister. SHE WAS PISSED! LOL. she does not like james because she feels like he's ugly and dumb and she can't even belive he had the audacity to ask me out. (she must think the world of me right?) and before i could stop her she went on a mission looking for him. i know she has a slick mouth and believe it or not she's meaner than me! she finally found him and i tried to tell him to walk away, but his pride got the best of him and he stayed for an unexpected tounge lashin'. she went off!!! she went on and on about how he's ugly and how i would never go out with him, how he was stupid for even asking and honestly i felt bad for him. yes james can be  an annoying smart ass but i wouldn't have put him down like that. that doesn't mean i wasn't laughing though. i laughed till my macara was streaking down my face. im sorry, but the shit was funny, i just couldn't help myself, its like when you see someone fall, you're gonna laugh. at the end, james couldn't even look at me, he was lookin at my sister with disgust and, from what she told me, his eyes started to water. i felt bad but that just shows me that he doesn't have thick skin and if he wanna be with me, he gonna have to have heart. but i got a man so its all good. but that wasn't nice, it was funny as hell, but not nice at all. : )

there's a pregnancy pact in my school, never know what you got till it's gone : (

as you all know my school is infested with whores. im talkin bout girls who make it a must to show their belly button rings, thongs and even granny panties. girls who give head in the back of the class room. girls who have had at least two abortions before the age of 15, girls who wear yeast infection pants and "show everything but your nipples" shirts. if you guys think for one second im over exaggerating, im not, im being oh so serious. for those who watch LIFETIME, you know that the premire for the movie "PREGNANCY PACT" came on sunday and you'll have a better idea of what im talkin about. there is at least 50 girls in my school who ar pregnant. day by day i see what me and my friends call "the bump" on girls who we have to move out of the way for so she can pass. i am officially convinced that there is a pregnancy pact in my school. it only makes sense and the worst part about it is that they walk around thinking it's cute and that taking care of that baby will be a piece of cake. no, not at all. i have a puppy i can hardly keep up with (yes i have a new dog!!!) not to mention about 6 cousins that i co-raised by force and trust me, when they wanna go to the club and can't their gonna wish they kept their legs closed and waited for something worth waititng for.


other than that im still on punishment and i think my mom is in need of a slap. she's so damn annoying when she gets in one of her moods. honestly how can she yell at me because she left clean pots, yes clean pots, on the stove? she makes no sense half the time. ugh, moms! but i miss my ipod dearly and my laptop, and my boo. he's doin his thing in college so i can't complain. im happy he's not a bum. love ya'll! peace.

is it me or am i unattractive?

i was talking to one of my guy friends and he said black girls are not attractive. he said there's just something about us that is a turn off. so i asked him if it was the fact that we have alot of attitude and he said no, so obviously he was talking about the looks. he went on and on about how brazilian women and spanish women are sexy. yes, i do think brazilian and spanish women are beautiful but i see beauty in every race of women. i think it has everything to do with hair. i have nice hair, but i don't think it's the most important characteristisc to look for. im not gonna say it's all about personality either because, come on, who the hell doesn't wanna be attracted to their mate, but to but down all black girls, that was cruel and ignorant. i think the stereotype is that all black girls have is nappy hair, bad attitudes, tar colored skin and fat asses. nah, that's not true at all. i've seen black girls with green eyes, grey eyes, blond hair, brown hair, long hair, sand colored skin (not to say that light skinned girls are more attractive), beautiful chocolate skin, just drop dead gorgeous to say the least. but then again everyone is entitiled to their opinion. im just sayin, my man had no right to put it like that.

IM JUST SAYIN', WE WOMEN NEED TO STICK TOGETHER ON TOPICS LIKE THIS.

ok i'm back!!

I feel like a stuffed turkey full of emotions. I'm happy and mad and a little worried.Well I'm happy because it's Friday. This weekend was much needed. It was hell trying to fix it but I fixed it so I'm REALLY happy about that so now you guys can see when I update this thang. I'm mad because I went to my boyfriend's house today to chill with his sister. His sister is my age and we're really cool, but his youngest sister who is a year younger than me and she does not like me at all. Do I have a issue with her not liking me? No, not at all. But what  I do have a problem with is that she disrespects me when it isn't even called for. I understand she's still young and immature at heart but she should know better. As soon as I walked in the door she said "the dog is here." At that moment I wanted to slap her teeth straight and rip the skin off of her face, but because I refuse to give the little bitch my energy, I'm gonna ignore her every time she has something to say. But if the little girl decides to touch me we are gonna have one of these..again.

I don't want it to go there, but I'm not as patient as she thinks. The quiet ones are the ones you gotta look out for, and that's me all the way. At any moment I could explode and do something to detroy her life forever and make sure she never recovers, but like I said I don't want it to go there. I dont have time for all of that.

The only reason I'm worried is because I just wanna do well in school. I have to get into a good college. I just have to.

peace out y'all! : )

well my x-mas sucked!!!

Gosh, I dont even wanna remember my x-mas. It was the worse. This year my mom felt like we shouldn't celebrate because of the economy and I was cool, but she told me her idea before I knew how I would truley feel. So on christmas morning I was expecting there to be gifts under the tree anyway because I mean, come on, who doesnt want gifts?! But there weren't any gifts and the damn tree looked like a weed plant. How you gonna get your tree on christmas eve? Gosh! (in the napolian dynomite voice). So I go downstairs to see my mom and my two bad ass cousins (I'm pissed that those lil brats are at my house for their whole winter break!) and when I said hello to my mom, I got the nastiest attitude from her! So that kinda pissed me off and I was two seconds from goin in my room and not comin out for the rest of the day, but because I was trying to be nice I stayed downstairs(I WAS ABOUT TO TURN INTO A REAL GRINCH). I offered to cook breakfast and everything, I'm sorry but I can cook better than my mom, and she gonna tell me no! At that point in my mind I was like "alright, don't ask me to do shit for the rest of the day." I don't usually offer to do things so when I do I suggest people ride the wave lol. Then she gonna get mad because she wanted decorations on the "tree". She seriously yelled at my and my auntie because there weren't any decorations on the tree! So we put the damn lights and decorations on the tree. I got plenty of texts and calls from people who were having a "merry" christmas and when they asked what I got I was almost embarrased to say "nothin'", but oh well, it is what it is.

Then my other aunt, the one who starred in my mini story "be mature or smack a ho?!!", came by my house. This bitch had the nerve to curse my mom out the day before, so she was most def on my shit list, but for the sake of my mother and the kids she didn't recive my gift of a slap, cause old girl needs what that dude got in my previous post lol. But she did drop off gifts for my lil cousins so that was nice. I guess the best part of my day was eating the food, of course I had to help my mom with the mac and cheese cause hers come out tasting like just noodles and if I wasn't gonna get gifts there was no way in hell I was gonna eat a unsatisfying dinner, but my dinner was excellent! and I finally got to watch Precious (i know, i know, not a movie to watch on christmas but keep in mind, our day was just another day but we had a big dinner) it was an excellent movie, and I plan on reading the novel. BUT I GUESS CHRISTMAS IS ABOUT FAMILY, SO ALL IN ALL MY CHRISTMAS SUCKED BUT I'M HAPPY MY FAMILY WAS THERE BECAUSE WE DID HAVE SOME LAUGHS : )

but anyway it's cooks b-day today!!! she's 18 now, a grown ass woman, so if you guys could just wish her a happy b-day at http://www.lyricalthoughtz.blogspot.com/ it will be deeply appreciated!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY!!

YOUR alter ego...

I never really introduced my alter ego "ZODIAC" to people outside of my blog family, but I have her name written all over the place, so of course I get a lot of questions. "What does this mean?", "Why did you name her Zodiac?", "Why do you have an alter ego?". I guess I wanna really explain Zodiac as best as I can, but I really believe I am the only one who will understand her completely, but here goes....

I came up with the name Zodiac because I have this interest in the Zodiac. I find it facinating how characteristics of zodiac signs can really fit how a person acts, but anyway, when I realized I had this "other side to me" I really couldnt give her a simple name because she isn't a simple, ordinary person. She's exotic, almost everything I'm not. She is everything you can think of and everything that contradicts it. The zodiac has EVERYTHING in it, so that's when Zodiac was born. Why did I name her Zodiac? Well for one, who ever heard of the name "Zodiac"? It's different, when you hear about someone's alter ego it's usually a ghetto name like Kiki, Candy, Delicious, or something like that ( NOT THAT I KNOCK THOSE NAMES, REMEMBER KYLE FROM "COLLEGE HILL", HIS ALTER EGO NAME WAS KEYSHIA), but I have to have something different, something that would stand out, something that would be the very definition of my alter ego without me having to explain her. Why do I have an alter ego? Well, to be honest the plain MS.B is quiet, sensitive, a nerd at heart , I can be sassy, but Zodiac kicks in when I step outside my door. To be honest I don't trust enough people to wanna let them get to know MS.B, you can't trust people and there are no such things as "friends". But Zodiac and I are one, she is my bitch, she is that bitch, the baddest bitch. Uh huh...but here's my question for you guys "What would you name you alter ego (if you don't already have one), and why did you chose that name? What are the characteristics of your alter ego?" THE COMMENTS WILL BE INTERESTING : )

the new year, the new me

2010 is right around the corner, so my swag will be reinvented. I can't wait to start anew. I don't have any new years resolutions but Ihave goals (I'll post those later). Not to mention my b-day will follow not to far after : ). I love to start new and feel like Ican do things with a clean slate. I can't wait to inhale as soon as that ball drops, it'll be my first breath of the new year and oh, it will be sweet because I've been feeling suffocated, made weary with my own obssesion of working hard and being the best.One of my goals is to learn how to relax and to not over work myself, because tomorrow is not guaranteed and I would feel           really bad knowing that I've lived my life without noticing life's precious treasures because my work consumed me. I learned that when my friend KITTIM passed. I miss him..a lot. (17 years young...didn't see it coming)

I miss you, we'll meet again swetie : )

the NONCHALANT attitude..lalala i DON'T have time to care

*deep sigh*, I just wish that people would realize that I have too much on my plate right now to care about petty issues, nasty stank attitudes, and personal problems. I mean if I care for you I'm more than willing to be there but if your gonna come at me sideways, we're gonna have issues. I just felt like walking up to everyone that decided it was ok to talk to me today and put my g-shock in their face and say "U SEE THIS G-SHOCK?! THERE IS NO TIME ON THE WATCH OF ZODIAC FOR YOU OR YOUR SHIT, SO TAKE YOUR HAPPY ASS TO HELL AND GET THERE SAFE." Kinda mean right? *shrugs* Too bad I don't care, and when I'm having a bad day I don't mess with anyone, but the problems still come to me. But it's all good because I still have my dream of going to college and that and the fact that God chose me to wake up every morning is what keeps me going.

BUT, of course people in other states even like to bother me. So there I was in my second to last class, happy as hell that the day was about to end and here goes this boy I met in MD that caught feelings for this JERSEY CITY PRINCESS, and I consider him my best friend but old boy feels like I should marry him! So we argued through text but then I just told him to "shush..." He texted back but I didn't reply because I was tempted to call him and curse him out, but I decided to let it out a better way, through my poetry. This is what I jotted down while I was supposed to be learning about cations and ions and all that jazz:

I'm disintegrating
Eroding as you walk away
Tears over wasted time
But hurt over guilt
I had no business taking your heart or giving you mine
I waste of time it was, thinking we were in love
when we was
what we was
but what were we?
Victims of the lure of the forbidden fruit
That's what it was
Are you dissolving like me?
Can your knees hold you up
or did I make you weak like you did me?

By this, ok before I tell ya'll what this means lemme break it down, he had a girl before he met me but told me months after I started to like him and trust him. But I kinda disregarded their relationship because I felt like if he checkin for me and he's with her he must not be into it, but that's not right, even though I don't know the girl from Adam. So now I feel guilt even though the situation makes it spilled milk, but I told him we can't be on the phone all hours of the night  subliminally flirting because we both have someone at home, and yesterday Allen (my man at home) made me very happy. I got my hair done and he kept playing in it and he was surprised my hair almost touches my bra strap because I wear weave. So then he walked me home and we held hands and we spoke and laughed and he asked me what I wanted for Christmas (insert AWWWW!). Now that I've blogged I feel alot better. Peace out ya'll, till tomorrow : )

my weekend, and how Tiger Woods fucked it up

Friday: Went to my friend April's house to chill, I had to get out of the house and it was the first time I chilled with someone here in my punk ass town. (I HATE it here!!) but she not from here so it's kinda different, AND did I mention she's my boyfriend's sister?  But anyway there were two dudes there, my niggas Alvaro and Kevin. I was scared because as soon as I walked in Alvaro gave my the eye, and in my mind I was thinkin " I hope he know that we just friends and that I'm not no ho!". Alvaro don't know what it's like to be around Black girls so I will get the neck and eye rollin on him with the quickness and not think twice. But anyway they were actin wild and I just went into my own lil corner so I could laugh at them, but then here comes Alvaro tryin to kiss me. I told him I got a man but obviously he didn't care, so I pulled away. Then he got mad and was like "Why you playin hard to get??" I wanted to yell at him and all of that but he was sexually frustrated and I wasnt beat and  I was just like "I'm not playin hard to get." So about an hour later he and Kevin left to go to the club, and he left mad. This is how I feel, when Alvaro and I first met I did think he was cute and I saw alot of potential in him, so as I got to know him better I began to have deep conversations with him about him and life and I guess he was attraced to the way I made him think because not too long after he began to change. He want my nigga anymore, he was a dude that was tryin to get with me. But I don't wait because I don't have patience, and if he felt someting before I got with Allen then he should have stepped to me like a man and said something upfront instead of tryin to get in my pants and then hoping that we would grow from there. That don't work for me and Alvaro has alot to learn and I'm not about to be his mama. But other than that my Friday was good.

Saturday: I woke up and decided I wanted a bikini wax! (go ahead and laugh) I wanna start doing it at home cause I'm tired of shaving cause it doesn't  last long enough and you look "prettier" down there if you wax as opposed to shaving cause you don't get bumps or discoloration. So me, April and Ashley went to rite-aid to get the wax. Of course we were actin crazy and extra Black but we had a good time and was laughin the whole way there until I looked to my right and saw the newspaper stand with a picture of Tiger Woods crying. I don't know the whole story, I just know that he was in a car crash and all of a sudden there's rumors about a sex tape and a love child and him cheating. (If someone can enlighten me that would be great) I mean, people love to talk about shit they don't know about and I felt really bad for him, and thats how he fucked up my mood cause that picture just brought down the while mood lol, but I pray for him beacause the headline said he was suicidal, and if that's the case I hope he gets better.

Sunday: Well my man finally came home from Deleware and we spoke. I still like him but it was weird when we spoke. No longer do I feel intense butterfllies, I felt numb. And not that good numb, I mean numb like I felt absolutley NADA when we spoke. But it's all good though, when he comes to my house tomorrow I should get some circulation for him in my heart again. But Sunday has been very relaxing and easy, my mom brought me lunch and I got some much needed sleep. I've been thinkin about gettin a new camera so i can record some videos and out them on here, wouldn't that be great cause I need ya'll to hear my voice when I say certain things lol. I plan to have ya'll crackin up.

COLLEGE HERE I COME!

OMG!! I MADE HONOR ROLL. For a minute I was telling you guys how hard junior year is cause it has been kickin my ass, and for a minute I thought I was failing some classes but a smart bitch like me made honor roll in the first semester. YAY ME! That means three things...I have to stay focused and do better, when I ask my parents for something they can't say no and that I'm starting my junior year correct so college better get ready for a sexy, smart and sassy force to walk through those doors. HOLLA! I HAVE DREAMS GUYS AND ONE OF THOSE DREAMS IS TO HAVE A BENTLEY AND A LOFT IN SoHo, and for that dream to come true i need to be making serious cake, and the only way to do that is through an education, right or wrong?

ISN'T IT BEAUTIFUL?

is bullsh*t on the menu today?

nobody is looking for much when they're looking for a boo. i truely believe no one's stadards are too high, but it pissed me off what happened yesterday. ok, so im at the chinese spot after school with my girls and we see this fine ass dude. nice caramel complextion, waxed brows (it didn't make him look gay), tall, rockin waves, nice lips, big brown eyes, you guys get the picture he was just fine. and he was dressed fresh to death. so he sees us and we all lookin good (especially moi, cause he was tryin to talk to me), and he walks over. i wasn't trying to get with him cause i have a boo but i saw nothing wrong with exchanging some helllo's. this is how the conversation went:


me: hi, how you doin'?
him: I'm good shorty, no wat Im sayin..you fine.
me: ok thank you
him:can I get your number sweetie? I'm tryna see what's good with you
me: well if you wanna know what's good with me I'll just tell you now, GOD blessed me and woke me up this morning and I plan on walking away wfrom you in about two seconds
him:damn ma, why?
me: ok first of all sweetie, you askin for my number and you don't even know my name cause you weren't smart enough to ask. second of all you don't know how to talk to a lady, and that's what I am so have a nice day, I dont have time for this.
him: you kinda stuck up
me: no, I just know what I want and how I want to be approached, and if I have to educate you on how to do that obviously your not man enough for me

*big sigh*... this is what I call someone having bullsh*t on their menu, and that dude really tried to serve it to me. "bulls*t" can be defined as anything you don't have time for and I do not have time for a dude that doesn't know how to talk to a female. I didn't want him to sweet talk me or to offer to pay for my food, I just wanted him to show some respect and to make it known that his mama taught him somethin. I expect girls to be better but sadly, we're not. I can't tell you guys how many times my guy firends would be like like "yo Bri, i just saw this bad chick but she was so stupid!" or somethin like that and the girl was serving serious bullshit. At the end of the day I want everybody to be boo'd up (shot out to khaki), but how are we gonna accomplish my dream if we keep serving each other the BS??!! We gotta get it together asap people.

PRECIOUS brings back some memories for me man!

I can not wait for that movie to come out! It's gonna be here in Jersey on Friday so I'm gonna throw my sexy on just for this movie. I like to watch movies that make me think or wish I was in them but "Precious" brings back some memories for me. When I used to be a big girl (or at least thats what people called me), I used to feel so hurt. I used to walk with my head down (litterally), I was quiet because where I lived it seemed like your opinion didn't matter if you didn't have the perfect body. My mom didn't abuse me the way Monique did Precious in the movie but I was forced to cook alot because I was forced to take care of my lil cousins (that's why i hate kids).

Now that I've lost the weight and I feel invincalble, I NEVER forgot how things used to be and when I first saw the previews for this movie, it took me to a place that I still visit occasionally so I stay grounded. Alot of teen girls can relate, but I hope to GOD that incest will stop and nobody has to have their own fathers child!

For those whose town isn't showing the movie it sucks to be you! (just kidding)

I GOT MY SCISSORS, NOW GET IN LINE PEOPLE...

AS I GET OLDER I REALIZED THAT THE POEPLE I BEFRIENDED IN MY YOUNGER YEARS HAVE NOT PASSED THE TEST OF TIME. One of my supposed best friends that made me believe that we were gonna be friends for a very long time did not pass that test. At first I blamed myself and tried to think what could I have done to save the relationship. That was when I was still naive. Now I realized somethin , I gave that girl all of me, but she wanted more and didn't appreciate it. There's some people at my hell hole of a scholl that I am just so ready to say "peace bitch!" to. Cutting people out of your life can be hard to do when you have or had love for that person but you always have to do whats best for you. You can only give people what you have and if you try to give people more, you will have nothin left for yourself, and you will never know what it truly feels to be happy. But bothersome people and annoying f*cks shouldn't be too hard to cut out of your life. A girl gotta keep it movin!..can't cry about it, but I am sick of feelin like I have too many people around me that's not good for me.

guy friend vs. boyfriend

Today my mom and I were talkin bout boys ( a touchy subject for her), and she told me she is not ready for me to have a "boyfriend". I asked her why and she told me that with a boyfriend I would have to commit and feel obligated to do things. She said with a boyfriend there would come sex...something she DOES NOT want me doin. She claims she does not want anyone seeing my "lady bits" lol. I thought she was takin it too far though. My definition of a boyfriend would be a boo piece that you kick it with, boyfriend is just a title. But then she explained to me what a guy friend is. A guy friend is a male obviously that you hang out with. You go to the movies with him, go out to eat, talk and all that other good stuff. I thought I had to have a "BOYFRIEND" to have that, but my mom schooled me today. I have a lil "male friend", his name is Allen and he is too sweet. He's 18, in college for marine bio, with a job! I'm not supposed to date until I'm 17 but I don't wanna be dumb about relationships (even though i'm already game to these niggas) so I think it's smart to have a guy friend. For all the moms out there all I have to say is this: tell your child how precious their body is. Not enough people were told and that results in girls being pregnant at the age of 10 and babies being born with AIDS. INNOCENT LIFE BEING CORRUPTED ALREADY..sad. but I am still a virgin and I'm damn proud (so is my mom).

I'm back and I have somethin to tell ya'll!!

Guys I seriously feel like I havent' been blogging in forever, its been like five years and I apologize but junior year has been keepin me occupied. Like the new page? It look me forever to do this too cause I wanted somethin more me so I took care of it and now everything is straight. ok..remember nijel? well I still like him and last thursday was  homecoming and I knew he would be there. : ) this is what I wore:

He didnt know I knew but he was staring HARD! I knew I looked good and all and I thought it was cute that I caught his attention. All night I caught him staring at me, but he's shy so he didn't ask me to dance but it's ok because we played each others eye candy all night. It was my fisrt dance at the school and I saw so much. My school is about 99.9% Hispanic and i'm not sayin they can't dance at all cause I saw some girls killin it but OMG!...CAN YOU SAY NO RHYTHM!!??!! LOL

FOR THE MOST PART I HAD FUN THOUGH.

the good..the bad..the ugly

For the first time in weeks I actually felt like crying. I am very stressed, upset, crushing hard and it seems to me like time is going too fast for me and I feel like I'm being left behind.

AS FOR THE GOOD: I FINALLY talked to my crush. I was so scared but when I finally talked to him it was so good! It was funny how it happened cause I kinda yelled at him but still, it was dreamy and absolutely what I've been wanting since last year. Oh...and I auditioned for choral and I made it! Yay for me! I love music!









AS FOR THE BAD: I'm doing just OK in school. I am a serious perfectionist. My teachers say that everything doesn't have to be perfect but that goes in one ear and out the other cause I will not hand in work that's sloppy and less than worthy. That's not apart of the Briani swag. I have to be above the rest with whatever I do especially because I'm tryin to go to college and everything counts. But being a perfectionist is not easy. I give up so much time that should be mine into school work and I know that in the end it'll all pay off but some days falling off a bridge sounds really good. I just wish I could tell time to wait damn minute so I can take a deep breath and get some sleep!







AS FOR THE UGLY: people are gonna make me come out of my character and I will have to start distributing slaps! I'm not a clingy person. I'm independent and I like people who don't like to be up under me unless your one of the people I chill with all day everyday. There's two people that I feel like if they don't see me or I don't talk to them all day they can't go on. It was scary at first but now its just annoying and I'm getting mad! I know I'm a cool chick to be around but I have like five people in my school that I don't mind being around all day everyday, but some people need to take 10 giant steps back and let a girl breathe! They're gonna make me go into "Stewie mode" and just while out. And I swear if one of those retarded freshmen bump into me into more gin imma go off!