and one text had me f*cked up...

I make it no secret that I have no relationship with my dad, thats how bad we are. But one day while I was in english yelling at my teacher I got a text from my cousin. She said "your father texted me and imma forward it to you." When she said that I was like "oh boy, this nigga make it his business to work my nerves!" I was turning beet red and I was thinking of how I was gonna have to yell at him when I got home.

 Finally I get the message. I was on the verge of tears. It said:
"I just dont wanna go into the new year without being in her life. I love my daughter and she's growing to be a beautiful young woman and I just don't wanna miss out. I know I'm not perfect but im trying and I apologize for putting her through what I put her through. please tell her."

I have no idea how to feel because on one hand he said this sh*t before so one side of me is just like "please shut your lyin ass up" but then again I do love my father and I feel a void in my life from time to time because he's not in my life and time doesn't stop just because I feel empty at times and we cant get time back, so it's either the relationship happens or not. I feel like my dad might be growing into a man finally but I don't know..is it too late you guys? I don't have time to catch him up on my life and I don't have time to teach him about me again. I'm not a baby or a little girl anymore and he missed out on very important times in my life, one being my 16th birthday!

honestly it pained my heart for him to think i want him to be perfect. no one is perfect, and i don't want him to be perfect, i just want him to be there.  i think i'll go cry now...

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